We live in a world of war. There are no bones about that.
I was born in 1993, four years after the fall of the Berlin Wall, two years after the collapse of the USSR, and the Gulf War, and the Cold War. It's against that backdrop that I, and everyone else of my generation, has grown up in. I was nearly eight when the attack on the Twin Towers happened, and I was nearly ten at the time of the announcement of the Iraq War. I vividly remember talking about this with my peers in the primary school dinner queue. I remember being taken to the anti-war protest on a Friday afternoon in Bristol City Centre (and not getting home until past ten o'clock because there were hardly any buses that day). I remember learning of our own Government's involvement in these terrible decisions; this was my introduction to politics and the concept of Government.
I remember every few subsequent years, hearing about more attacks in the Gaza Strip, feeling like I didn't understand any of it and could do nothing to help. I remember setting up camp outside the BBC in the summer of 2014, in protest against their coverage of the Gaza situation. I remember being asked by my then friend David, 'George, because you support Hamas, does that mean you support Isis?', being completely taken aback by the question and not being sure how to begin answering (I thought I was just on the side of ordinary people not being killed). I remember the heightened security at Colchester Institute, where I was studying at the time, when I returned for my second year - suddenly we all had to wear lanyards identifying us, there were constantly guards at the gates, just in case there might be a terrorist attack (although personally I always suspected that they were there more for show than because they actually had any relevant experience with domestic terrorism).
I remember my generation's excitement about Jeremy Corbyn standing for Labour leadership in 2015, in part because he actually spoke out about this constant world of war we were living in. I remember that his being so anti-war was constantly used as a smear against him by the very people that helped bring us into all these wars in the first place. I remember not understanding any of it, being completely baffled... wondering, 'Am I just too stupid to understand then?' And I remember the horror of the terrorist attack at Manchester Arena in May 2017, during a concert by singer Ariana Grande - a fun and exciting time for so many, that was destroyed in the most horrific possible way.
This has been the world in which I've had to grow up and come to terms with who I am and my identity. It's commonly stated that there is typically a lot of hostility between my generation and the baby boomer generation of the 1950s - they think we're really arrogant, up ourselves and entitled, and we tend to think the same thing about them. There are many, many complex reasons for this, and obviously I don't want to generalise because my parents are of that generation and so are many other amazing and lovely people - but I think that this war backdrop is a big part of the reason why so many people from across these generations struggle to get on well. The baby boomer generation were also born in the aftermath of a war - but from what I've seen of history, the 1950s was a real time of hope and of rebuilding. That war was still in recent memory, and had been on such a big scale that there was a collective attitude of 'never again can this be allowed to happen'. There was a feeling of wanting to give their kids a chance of life that wasn't full of war and conflict. My generation hasn't had that. We've had wars shoved at us constantly. And, unlike in the past, rises in technology, social media and news coverage have meant that this information is presented to us pretty much all the time. No wonder there's such a mental health crisis amongst the young... this is what we live with. I myself have no concept of living without continuous updates about wars, and I've struggled with severe anxiety partly as a result. (My first major mental health crisis was in 2003. I didn't know at the time that this was mental illness, and I wasn't aware of it having any particular connection to big global events - but I don't think it's a coincidence that Iraq had been invaded just a couple of months previously. Kids absorb these things, and it is reflected in their moods and behaviour.)
For these reasons, I absolutely dread events like the ones currently going on in Gaza. Obviously I dread them just on a human level - there has been so much blood shed over this, from people who are completely innocent, that I find my emotional capacity stretched to the absolute limit trying to feel for them and their loved ones. But I also dread it in a very personal way. I'm really frightened. I'm frightened by what human beings are capable of doing to one another, I'm frightened by the seeming inevitable escalation of all of this, I'm frightened by what it will all lead to and I'm frightened of where it will end. It gives me such crippling levels of fear that sometimes I can't bring myself to write about it - even though I know I have to, because writing about it does help emotionally, and I really hope that it helps educate others as well.
This is why, when people say that these most recent events are a game-changer, I find it very hard to be especially hopeful. I have been quite heartened by the amount of positive support I've seen for Palestine from people on social media - it's substantially more than usual, and I will acknowledge that it does feel like something may improve soon. But as far as I'm concerned, this is just not good enough. In the words of Bob Dylan, 'How many deaths will it take 'til he knows that too many people have died?' I think we've long surpassed that number already. It doesn't matter if Hamas' strike against Israel on October 7th ultimately proves successful and we eventually get peace in the Middle East over this - because none of this horror will ever be undone. Even in a best-case scenario, the suffering of the people living in both countries will never be over. They will live with this for the rest of their lives. And for those of us fortunate enough to live a long way away, we will continue to experience the fear and anxiety that war causes, forever most likely.
Even this is assuming that we'll get peace quite soon, which was by no means guaranteed. Today someone sent me this interview with international relations analyst Scott Ritter, which was very illuminating. I learned a lot that I didn't know already about the precise nature of the political status quo in the region and also its history, so it's worth watching for that. I also found it interesting that he was formerly an Israel supporter, and in some respects still is - it's always good to see that people won't turn a blind eye to everything Israel does, even if they're naturally inclined to back that side.
However, I also found it a really uncomfortable conversation to watch, and in particular I found Ritter's attitude really distasteful. He talked about these events being a potential game-changer, and to me his tone of voice sounded excited and enthusiastic about this. I didn't think this was appropriate in the circumstances. What do you think? Here's the video so you can make up your own mind:
I really hope that he's right in saying that this will inevitably lead to a Palestinian state, and also that the USA will be successful in de-escalating the situation. I have some degree of solace in the fact that he is a good deal more knowledgable about this kind of thing than I am, so as much as I fear for the future of myself and of mankind, I feel relatively secure in thinking I can take his word for it, for now at least.
But there was a fair bit that I felt was wrong, and the bit that really stood out to me is his insistence that Palestinians want a Palestinian state so badly that they're willing to die for it. I'm sure that they are desperate for a Palestinian state - but that doesn't mean they're willing to die for it, or for their children to die for it. Moreover, being willing to die for something implies that the person is in that situation by their own free choice, having weighed up all the options. Palestinians are not. They are, as Ritter himself acknowledges, living in the world's largest open-air concentration camp, being deprived of food, water and medicines. They aren't there because they are willing to die. They are there because they are being kept there, and the reason they're desperate for a Palestinian state is that they want a better life, for themselves and their children. Constant war does not achieve that, no matter who its victors are. I found this comment, and Ritter's whole attitude here, insanely insulting.
As odd as it may seem, I am actually an optimist. I sometimes wonder if it's right to be an optimist, if this world actually warrants optimism with all these awful things that happen. But the main reason is because I am immensely proud of my own generation, and the generation that's come immediately after us. I feel like we're far more moral than many of those who have come before us, and perhaps that's the consequence of growing up in great fear of war all the time. I do think mankind has a chance of improving the world, with the ideals that we hold - although there will be great challenges ahead. But in order to make those changes, I think it's really important that we acknowledge that continuous war is just not worth it. I'm a supporter of Palestine because I always try to support the underdog. It gives me just as much grief when Hamas hurts innocent civilians as when Likud does. No one, whether they're Israeli, Palestinian, Jewish or Muslim, really wants to live like this. No one is better off as a result of living like this.
Perhaps, if you were born in 1961 and have a military background, as Scott Ritter does, it's easier to take a step back and look at things from a cold rational standpoint without much empathy for the people involved. But I can't. More than that, I won't. I think it's completely at odds with our goals to achieve peace to not remember that every single person who loses their life in conflict is someone's child, someone's parent, someone's sibling, someone's friend. It doesn't matter what the outcome is - these actions are never worth it, whomever they're committed by.
And by the way, here in the UK we're still waiting for the leaders of both our main political parties to call for a ceasefire, even after being urged by the UN. It's somewhat heartening to me that it seems senior politicians in many countries in the world are calling for this - but that's also depressing, to learn that your own country is so many miles behind. We can do better than this, and we should.
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