I'll be frank, my mental health has been pretty poor lately.
I've had two bereavements this year, some quite stressful work to do, intense disagreements with people, just low energy generally... and awful things happening in the world. I sometimes think that the cruellest thing is that the more you care about changing the world, the more fatigued it makes you feel. This is the reason why many activists experience such burnout. It's often said that you lose your idealism as you age, and there's some truth in that statement. Most of us start off with the motivation that we're going to sort the world out quite quickly, and then if it doesn't quite happen like that it can be quite demotivating. I found after the 2019 General Election in particular, the huge numbers of people who were keen to achieve decent socialism in the UK kind of disappeared (although I think they are still out there, and can still be reached).
I've been having these problems for years, and I've written a bit about them on previous blogs. Unlike other occasions when things have been difficult for me though, I have actually been making more effort to keep my blog updated this time. This is one way that I've been coping... a lot of the time in the past I've gone through long periods of failing to bother updating this, and then that spirals. The more time passes, the more I have to write about, and then I don't know what to write first. Continuing to make myself write has had the benefit that I look out for interesting things to write about and create new perspectives on them... which is beneficial for my state of mind as much as anything else.
So that would be my first tip for staying sane in a world that seems like it's against you - to give something to focus on on a regular basis. It's not always easy to motivate yourself, but you feel so much better after you've done it. My second tip would be to find a specific project to work on. There's a theory that the only thing you need to improve the world is to improve someone's world, and I really relate to that. As regular readers will know, I'm actively involved in a campaign to save a day centre for vulnerable adults in Abergavenny (I've written about this here, here and here). It's obviously not something that's massively world-changing in one respect - but in another, I think it's one of the most world-changing things I've ever done. This campaign might win, and if it does it will have an extremely positive impact on people's lives. Isn't that all we want as activists - for the quality of people's lives to radically improve? The fact that my current campaign has a relatively small group of beneficiaries is not the point - it's quality that matters over quantity.
My third tip is to be aware of your triggers. This does NOT mean avoiding your triggers... I actually think it's quite beneficial to trigger yourself sometimes, as that stops your triggers from having so much power over you. But if you're going to trigger yourself, you do need to know when is the right moment and when isn't. Personally, I'm extremely triggered by depressing comments about climate change, to the point that my anxiety over this has started giving me physiological reactions. And with my state of mind at the moment, I just cannot engage. But that doesn't mean I'll never be able to engage. I will engage, one day when I feel more able to, which is what I'm working towards at the moment. And when I do engage, the people I will engage with will be the ones who make me feel capable of contributing towards solving the problem. I cannot stand climate doomers, and I agree with the scientists in this article that there's actually an argument that they're doing more harm than climate denialists these days. One of the problems with talking about climate change is that it's really hard to find a middle ground - information is either so terrifying that it makes you freeze with panic, or more reassuring than it should be (and it doesn't help if we don't know the complexities of the science behind it, which most of us don't). So I will recommend the two YouTube channels which I think have struck the appropriate balance. Dr Adam Levy is a climate scientist who uses the name ClimateAdam - I find him great at giving the information behind the headlines in a clear, positive and accessible way, which focusses on creating ideas that people can do to help. Another YouTuber I really like is Leena Norms - she talks about other things besides climate change, but I find her logic very original, intelligent and thought-out, and I always feel better after a blast at her content. So thank you Adam and Leena if you ever read this blog - you've helped me through some dark times!
Talking of help through dark times, my final tip (and arguably the most important one) is to find your community. One of the most difficult things about the fatigue of being someone who cares is that so often you think 'Why am I the only one?' You are not. There are so many people out there who feel the same way as you, and most likely think that they're the only one as well. All you need to do is find them. My most recent blog prior to this one was mourning the decline of the quality of The Canary, and the main reason I've felt so upset about that is that in 2017, The Canary was my main source of companionship. It was my reminder that I wasn't alone. The Canary sadly no longer serves that purpose (I have been in touch with them and they seemed interested in working with me on improving, but so far there have been no further developments on that front) but that doesn't mean there aren't groups of people that are helpful, whether they're activist groups, discussion groups, campaign groups... a different kind of group will work for each person depending on your personality and what you're most into. I think this is a big part of the reason why groups like Just Stop Oil have taken off so much... it's not just about sitting in the road and damaging paintings, it's that those groups have a companionship to them, a group of like-minded people who are willing and able to fight. That is so incredibly valuable in today's world, which seems desperate to turn us apart from one another. Find your companions.
I hope that this blog has helped anyone who might be struggling. We are in this world to improve it, we are capable of improving it and we can improve the lives of others as we do. We just have to believe we can.
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