The downsides (and upsides) to being an activist

Okay, so this is one of the longest breaks from my blog that I have ever taken. I have been planning to post an update on things that have been happening for weeks, but somehow life has just kept getting in the way. I find that the longer I take to update this, the more important it is for there to be a good reason to write a new post. For example, I have been planning to write about my opinions on smoking for a while now, and maybe I still will, but I can't really do it in this post because there has been so much going on that it would feel a bit odd to start writing about that when there have been so many more important things to discuss.

Two weeks ago was my four-year anniversary of being a political activist (and yes, I have been working on this blog for all of the last two weeks). On 24 November 2010, at the age of 17, I participated in my first political demonstration, against tuition fees for students, and the adrenaline rush I got from this, coupled with the feeling that I was making a difference in this world, made me think that I wanted to do this in addition to my acting work for the rest of my life. In the last four years, I have done a lot of activism work in all forms, from marching to signing petitions to creating political theatre, and have campaigned on all kinds of issues. My interest in tuition fees went on to other cuts to public services that were being made by the Government (to the NHS for example); from there I went into being interested in political prisoners (specifically, the case of Chelsea Manning), I spent a lot of time opposing the Bedroom Tax and this summer I was heavily involved in the Palestine movement. (I have also done other things, but these have been the campaigns that I have most heavily been involved with.) On my anniversary, I posted on Facebook that I have not regretted a single second of my activism. I still stand by this statement, as everything that I have achieved, and hopefully will continue to achieve, is worth any negative consequences that this kind of work brings. However, there are some days where it crosses my mind that sometimes this is more bother than it is worth. A few days after my anniversary, these thoughts struck me. I thought, 'Is all of this really worth it?' That feeling quickly faded, so obviously it is worth it, but as with most ventures, there are good points and bad points to it. I had the idea for this blog when I was in the bad phase, and it was initially just going to be about the negatives. However, it quickly became clear that this wasn't a good idea, for two reasons: a) Because that would seem like I was advising people against it, and I would never do that and b) I don't want to suggest that it's an unpleasant thing to do. It is generally very rewarding.

So I'm going to post the top five downsides to being an activist, and then neutralise them with five things that really make it worthwhile. Those people who read this who are involved in political activism may be able to identify completely with what I am saying, and those who are not may gain an insight into how life is for me on a day-to-day basis. So, here goes:

The Downsides

1. Being contacted at all times to provide assistance with an impossible number of things
Out of all the downsides to being an activist, this is perhaps the most troublesome, and I really can blame no one but myself for it. What happens is this. I sign a great deal of petitions - more than twenty in a week probably - and they are generally for things that I care about, but naturally some more than others. The organisers of these petitions frequently get back in touch with me about other campaigns that they are working on and could use my help with. Now, I don't really mind them doing that - were I in their shoes, I would do exactly the same thing - but this year it has got to a stage where it is a little bit out of hand. I have decided that between now and the new year I will unsubscribe from a number of sites whose campaigns really do not motivate me quite as much as some of the others. I feel quite bad doing this, because I generally do support them 100%, but I find that I do not physically have the time or energy to be that enthusiastic about every single cause that I am contacted about. I find that a lot of the time I just skim emails, taking in very little. That's not how I want to do things. I want to read and feel passionate about what I'm signing - and a lot of the time I do, but it gets a little too much. Not to mention the fact that a lot of these causes ask for financial donations. I'm a student, and I do not have an income. I have enough money to make donations, but that money is being saved for my future. As an actor, I'm in an incredibly unstable profession, especially in the current financial climate, and when I leave University in 2016, I need to be able to support myself. And if I'm honest, that makes me feel guilty, because I would like to be able to financially contribute more, but there comes a point where I need to think about myself as well. And I think that recently I have been coming to terms with the fact that as an activist, you need to pick and choose which causes really interest you and motivate you to do something about them. It is possible for one person to change the world, but there is only a certain amount that a person can do, so quite frequently I need to think, 'No, that's something for someone else to take on.' It is hard to know when to do that, but I think I'm getting better at it.

2. People's frustrations, and harm to personal friendships
I am naturally very opinionated, and I tend to bring those opinions into social discussion quite a lot, both in person and via online formats such as social media. I think this has always been a part of my character, but in the time that I have been a political activist my convictions have naturally grown stronger, and as a result there have been times that people have been quite taken aback by my blunt approach. I'm really not the type to beat around the bush, or to water down my opinions because someone else disagrees. As someone who is quite frequently involved in quite heated debate, I have rather hardened to it, and I have a resolve to not take anything personally by someone else's opinion. As a matter of fact, I will request that no one ever raises their voice: I think it's a fair bargain to allow someone to say whatever they like to me, in as blunt, sarcastic or rude terminology as they like, provided that they express that in a calm, relaxed and professional manner, and I will make an effort to stick to that myself as well. It's a method of protection that one becomes accustomed to if they are involved in as many political debates as myself. Other people often don't have any method of handling such situations at all. Generally I think that that is their problem and not mine, as I believe that in this sort of conversation it is important to be able to handle oneself well however the other person is taking it, but the reaction to me does get depressing from time to time. There have been times that I have lost friendships for being too outspoken about certain things - for example, an old acquaintance of mine blocked me on Facebook, after she had recently uploaded pictures of her newborn and I left a comment expressing my distaste for people who upload baby pictures. In that instance, I wasn't too bothered as she hadn't been someone I have known especially well, but since then I have actually made an effort to rein that back a little, as it isn't something that is worth losing friends over. But there are times when people object to my political stances so much that they withdraw from me as an individual. I try not to be too upset by it; those people clearly are not worth being friends with, and I have just as many better friends who tell me that they really respect the fact that I tell people straight; but nevertheless it can get quite depressing.

3. Ignorance is bliss, and awareness can be torture
This is an interesting one. Being an activist, I am naturally made more aware of what is going on in this world than I would be otherwise. Generally, I would say that this is a good thing, but there are massive downsides. There are points when my desire to remain informed clashes head-on with my desire to remain sane. There have been times that I have literally had to disconnect from all forms of electronic media just to give myself a break from learning anything more about the terrible things that are going on, because there is so much that is wrong with the world that it sometimes feels like there is nothing that anyone can do to help. Fortunately this feeling is usually pretty brief, and after a decent sleep I normally wake up with the knowledge that whilst one person cannot do everything, one person can do enough, and the rest can be done by others. I think it has been at these points that I have become most aware of my spiritual side. I am actually a very spiritual person - some people are surprised at this fact, because I'm not sure it's the stereotype of an intelligent and earnest actor and political activist, but I think it is this that has made me so spiritual. There are times when I am so freaked out that all I can do is close my eyes and meditate, and I always come to the same realisation when I do this. The realisation is that I am able to work my damned hardest to make a difference in this world, but in order to be effective in that I also have to focus on making life worthwhile for myself. I said once before on this blog that when fighting so that others can have an enjoyable life, you also need an enjoyable life yourself, because if activism is making you depressed and frightened it isn't worth it. Now this would never cause me to give up on activism, but it does sometimes mean that I have to go about things a different way.

4. Not remembering what you've already done
This is another thing that is similar to the first point. When you're involved in as many campaigns as I am, it is quite hard to remember them all. I quite often receive phone calls from organisations who say, 'Hi, you signed our petition about such-and-such recently', and I'll think, 'Did I?' It sounds like something I would have signed, but I can't honestly recall it, as it doesn't stand out from all the others. Also, sometimes I get prompted to do things which I am not sure whether or not I have already done. I am prompted to write to my local MP about a certain issue, and I'll think, 'Now I know I've contacted him about five other things this week, but did I send him anything about this?' I think when I say it like that it sounds a bit like I don't really care about a lot of the campaigns that I'm involved with. Nothing could be further from the truth. I can honestly say that I do completely agree with every petition that I sign, or cause that I get involved with. But aside from the ones that I am the most passionate about, a lot of them seem to get filed in a similar place in my brain, and it is hard to keep up. Maybe I should think about making a written list.

5. The discussions about political and social philosophies
Now don't get me wrong, the people I meet in this world are great. I have met some amazing friends whilst doing this, and I will probably talk about that quite a lot in the 'upsides' section. However, there is one thing that is quite tiresome about the approach of some of the people involved, which is that a serious debate can quite frequently turn to discussions about specific philosophies and ways of thought. Now I realise that that sounds quite crude when I say it like that. I must clarify that it is not that I lack interest in those things; on the contrary, I have had some really fascinating discussions about them. However, I think that when one is discussing a serious political or social issue, that sort of line in conversation is not always especially relevant. It seems that certain people decide what to think about the issues in our society on the basis of whether this is an accepted viewpoint in their chosen philosophical view on life, and I think that that is not the way. It's the same as with agreeing or disagreeing with something because your religion tells you to - I think that if that is the case, you may have chosen that religion in line with your own opinions, but they should not be your opinions because your school of thought tells you that they should. I believe that plain old-fashioned common sense overrides all of this. I would rather people did not box themselves into a certain category that appears to coincide with their views, because it may not coincide with their views on everything and I think it's important to be independent-minded enough to make up one's own mind on a subject when one is presented with all the evidence. There is always a bit of pressure to label oneself as well, and I try to avoid it as much as possible. A lot of people ask whether I am left- or right-wing. If I had to answer that I would say left-wing because that is where most of my views tend to swing, but not all of them. A few of my views are a lot more conservative - I just agree with whatever I happen to think is right. There are people who will tell you that that is all really subjective, but in fairness personal opinion is all subjective. It doesn't make it any less legitimate, and it doesn't mean that you cannot still put forward a convincing argument to sway someone else.

Okay, those are all the most irritating things about this line of work. Now for a much more enjoyable series of paragraphs!

The Upsides (making a difference to the world is of course the main one, and that doesn't get a paragraph here because that should be obvious, so these are additional benefits):

1. Becoming a better and more informed debater
Political debate is everywhere. I sincerely doubt there will be a single person reading this for whom political debate is not a massive part of their lives, although many will probably deny that. I have been debating issues for many years - since I was quite a young child really, and certainly long before I considered myself to be an activist. Everyone likes to express their opinions on things. When I first came to live in Colchester, a lot of my fellow students claimed 'not to care about politics'. I find that an extremely irksome claim, because everyone does - you just need to get someone worked up enough to be able to put across their views. Whilst working on the political cabaret module of my course, there were a lot of political and social issues that came up that people felt very strongly about, which of course led to some pretty heated debates. As a matter of fact, I found this quite exciting as I felt that they had all had a glimpse of my world whilst this was happening, and in any case this was proof that the assertion that one does not care about politics is pretty false. But anyway, I digress slightly. The point that I am trying to make is that I have always been very forthright in terms of expressing my viewpoints, just as everyone is, but in the years that I have done this sort of work I have found myself to be increasingly capable at doing this. Because of the amount that I have read, heard and become informed about, I am now someone who is able to put a point across in a manner which is neither too timid nor too confrontational, back this up with evidence and also listen to another person's point. The more you do this, the better you get. I don't think it is exactly possible to handle a debate perfectly - I am actually quite self-critical, though privately so. After every debate that I take part in, I question whether I had done anything wrong and if so, how I could improve on that next time, and I bear all of this in mind for the next time that such a situation arises. If I have finished a debate and I feel that I have generally handled myself well, even if the other person has not conceded to my overall point, I feel quite elated and satisfied with how I have gone about things. When I was younger, I didn't get that; I would leave thinking of several more valid points that I could have raised and forgot about in the emotion of it all. Of course, that still happens from time to time, but not as frequently as it once did. This is something that I am really proud of actually. I want to be eloquent and articulate. On a personal level, this is the thing that I find the most appealing in another person, and of course the things that one finds appealing in others are generally also the traits that one wishes to incorporate themselves. Every experience that I have makes it easier to be able to handle myself with the proper levels of decorum in high-emotion situations such as this.

2. Immediate respect from people
In the downsides, I talked about the loss of personal friendships due to being outspoken. There is a flip side to this, which is that in certain instances, the term 'political activist' prompts other people to subconsciously view you as being someone important, which is quite a personal confidence boost as well. For example, whilst at WOMAD music festival I heard a pretty fantastic speech from a woman representing Greenpeace, and afterwards I approached her with a smile and said, 'Hi, I'm George, I'm an independent blogger and political activist.' She was immediately very warm and friendly, I found her an easy person to talk to and I felt that I learned something from that. Using those terms was also beneficial for me to subconsciously feel like someone who was entitled to express an opinion. This sounds slightly pretentious when I say it like that, but I don't think it necessarily needs to be. Everyone wants to be respected and to naturally respect themselves, and if you have something that naturally speeds that up a little, it is quite useful. Of course, when it comes down to it it doesn't make me stand out at all, because I'm not any more special than anyone else. Whilst I view it as one of my two main vocations (the other being theatre), 'political activist' just means that I actively and willingly take part in campaigns for various forms of social change. Anyone can do that, I'm just an ordinary person at the end of the day. But those words are an instant way to ingratiate oneself with other like-minded people, who otherwise may not have considered you very worth talking to (and for the record, I'm sure that the lady from Greenpeace who I refer to would have been delighted to chat with me in any case because she was very approachable, but it's a shortcut to getting to have these conversations in the first place that is key.) I like the term 'political activist'; it makes me feel like I'm making an effort to do something decent.

3. The friends I meet
I can honestly say that I have met some of the most amazing, awesome people that I have or will ever come across whilst doing this kind of work! People who are like-minded, people who see the world in a similar world to the way that I do. Being an activist is very social; you meet a whole lot of people through what you do, and if you want to continue being involved, it is important to network with them. A lot of people say to me, 'George, you do so much and I'd like to as well, but how do I get started? How do I find out about all these things?' And the advice that I always give in response is to say, 'Talk to people. Find out what people think about things, what is going on and what you can do to make a difference to something you care about.' I was given a bit of a boost when I started out; many of my friends happened to be involved in the tuition fee campaigns, and I joined them. I met people there who introduced me to other things, I started this blog to keep a record of it all and it all went from there really. You can't really be an activist on your own; we all contact one another, give each other ideas and organise things like that. After four years, I am really quite a well-known political activist in the Bristol area. I wouldn't go as far as to call myself a public figure, but many people who are involved in any sort of social change know me either personally or through reputation, from things that I may have posted on social media, and if they don't know me they will know some of my activist colleagues. It's a different sort of friendship to most others; you can sit in a bar with them and discuss social issues anecdotally, and you are all aware that you are welcome to disagree with one another and no one will take it personally - it will just spark a debate. Well in any case, you may get different experiences from other people, but this has been mine.

4. The personal satisfaction
That feeling. It's impossible to describe in words, but that feeling that I got at my first demonstration I continue to feel every time I'm in the middle of fighting for something I care about, expressing a point succinctly in a debate or when I get the news that something I have been campaigning about has taken off. It is not unlike that tingly feeling in one's stomach when one is in an aircraft about to take off, although I realise that for people who aren't too keen on travel that may sound like a less pleasant comparison. There are only three things in life that give me that level of excitement: the aircraft example that I just gave, being onstage in front of an audience and being engrossed in a campaign. I don't just do activism for personal satisfaction, of course I do it to make a difference to the world, but the enjoyment that I get from it is undoubtedly a big part, I'm not ashamed to admit it.

5. A greater understanding of the world
As I said in the 'downsides' column, this can also be a negative as it can really get on top of me sometimes. However, the majority of the time being an activist means that without trying, I learn a great deal about how this world works. I am a lot more knowledgable than I was a couple of years ago, and this is not just the fact that I am a few years older than I was that. I read a great many articles about things that are occurring in various countries. I gain a greater understanding of what is ethical and what is not, and I have a considerably more mature viewpoint on most issues than probably many others of my age. I also think that I have learned quite a lot of practical skills as well. I know how to talk a lot and say very little (a tactic I occasionally use with police officers trying to gain information). I know how to be the most influential person in a large group without being the leader. I have a realistic idea about what I can get away with and what I can't, and I am able to remain a prominent figure or to keep my head down accordingly. Perhaps surprisingly, in the years that I have been an activist I have never been arrested - I have rarely done anything illegal, if ever (I cannot be entirely sure, because I don't know the law well enough to be able to judge on technicalities - however, for the most part I take care to remain within the parameters of what is legal, provided I am able). The closest I came to being arrested was during the Palestine conflict, when I was pulled out of a supermarket and kicked to the ground by a police officer, who claimed that I had assaulted him (I had not). Fortunately I managed to avoid being arrested, although there was a very scary moment when I thought I would be. I managed to keep my head down enough to avoid being noticed much for quite a few days afterwards, and I think that this experience taught me a lot. Every experience teaches me so much, and I think if this is how much this kind of work has shaped me within four years, the years to come potentially could contain so much more.

So in summary, despite a few tiresome episodes, being a political activist is pretty sweeting awesome! I'm not lying when I say that I rarely regret the number of things that I'm involved in, and I would honestly recommend it to anyone. It has been a good four years, and I hope I have many more to come!

I will try to update this blog more soon. I was honestly working on this one for the longest I have ever taken to write a blog. It is difficult to write so much in a short space of time - but I'm doing my best! Hope you enjoyed reading it x